Aside from being ancient, I’m also busty. Super duper busty. For example, my non-pregnant boobies are a lusty 30JJ. When I was pregnant with Baby Bee, I went up to a 34KK. And that was one of my issues – no-one makes nursing bras that actually work for ridiculous boobs. We don’t exist. There is simply nothing out there that can be considered even close to adequate: even at my resting breast size of 30JJ I have two options, neither of which get what big boobs need – support, comfort and ease of access for a breast that, if left to roam, is borderline feral. What I’m offered is a monoboob settling in the nooks of my elbows, with a chest band that had to be so tight to meet the right level of support that after just a short amount of wear it had chaffed a layer of skin clean off.
With Baby Bee, I ended up sticking with regular, underwired bras. I found a decent bra – the Panache Jasmine – that has an elasticated lace across half the cup which allowed for expansion and just used back extenders as my ribcage swelled. But I couldn’t breastfeed with it without some serious secondary-school-changing-room underwear shuffling which no woman can do in public.
It’s so sad that because I couldn’t get a nursing bra that fitted I was quietly grateful that my boobs failed me with breastfeeding – a combination of failure to latch and low production. It was a happy benefit that I didn’t have to endure wearing something so useless for months on end and could stick with a bra that worked during that weird phase when your body deflates into a porky version of its former self.
But even though I didn’t need them in the end, it doesn’t detract from from how utterly galling it is that I couldn’t find a nursing bra that actually fitted. Galling and completely ridiculous. How can they put a man on the moon but fifty years later STILL not be able to offer me a simple, supportive, comfortable and easy to use nursing bra that actually works?!
I really want to give breastfeeding another go with Number Two – as this is a girl, I’m hoping we won’t have the latch-issues – and so, tenacious as ever, I approached a friend who has a great network of breastfeeding advocates to see if they had any recommendations for gargantuan over the shoulder boulder holders. I awaited the responses with wary anticipation and when they actually came in, I have to say, I was disappointed. Because, again, just like most department stores in the world, their understanding of big boobs just don’t match with mine. An F cup is not big. Not in my book. That’s larger than average but it’s so far off my JJs it’s the equivalent to me of an A cup.
That said, there are some brands that they listed that I’m not aware of so I’m going to give them a shot.
That said, again, I’ve given two of them a shot already – the Bravado Body Silk Seamless and the Carriwell GelWire – both of which get rave reviews and are supposedly designed to accommodate large breasts.
Despite their enthusiastic fans, both were like wearing a pair of pasties. Yet, and as an example of how desperate I get, there was a moment where I thought I could put up with them because they almost fitted – and by almost I mean only a third of each breast spilled out of each side.
I’ve got more recommendations which I’ll try, and I may give some other sizes within the deeply gumby Royce range a go to see if there’s anything there that might help. I’m determined to find a solution – and if I don’t … maybe this is where my millions lie …